We all know that what is wrong with this country is that it lacks a hereditary monarchy. If we had a monarchy with a strong ruler at the top, we could finally get things accomplished. No more messing around. Our balanced government has failed miserably. The original idea of checks and balances was great. Don’t let any group of people suppress the interests of others. Create a system of government so that no one group’s interests can achieve a majority. That was the vision. But it worked so well that it has had the opposite effect. No group’s interests can advance. We are at a standstill, immobile, paralytic, and unable to advance the key concerns of government.
There is only one possible solution: abandon the system of balanced government and eliminate the checks and balances. Better yet, let’s bring back the monarchy. Let a King or Queen decide what we should all do. At least we’d get off the pot and do something. We could get on with our business of war, climate destruction, greed, racism, and all the other things that we want and need to get done. But we could do them more quickly without wasting huge amounts of time debating them. Just think of the savings and the reduction in taxes we could achieve for the average person. Sure, the King or Queen would require a retinue and lavish dinners. Sure, we’d have to put up with royal balls and gossip about the royal family. That would be a small price to pay for the elimination of this relentless sniping at each other and paralysis that marks our government.
To be sure, we’d have to put up with some decisions we didn’t like. I imagine a new Monarch would probably not be too happy with the entire populace being armed. We might have to put up with limits on our possession of firearms. And of course we might have to accept the establishment of a State religion. So what if we have to say the pledge of allegiance in the schools and the 10 commandments are up in the court house. If anyone doesn’t believe in God or the Ten Commandments, they can go to another country.
Just think of the benefits of a monarch. We could end the debate over whether money is speech. It wouldn’t matter anymore. We could save millions by ending political campaigns. Maybe we could take those millions previously wasted in elections and help the poor or reduce the cost of college. And we wouldn’t have to worry anymore about big corporations avoiding taxes by moving business offshore. The monarch could put an end to that.
The benefits of a hereditary monarchy are so self-evident. And there is even precedent for the idea among the American founders. Alexander Hamilton, an author of the Federalist papers, argued in favor of an elective monarchy during the Constitutional Convention of 1787. Those are the reasons why I’m voting for Jeb Bush. To be sure, we could also get there by voting for Hillary too, but the Bushs have a lead on the Clintons, 3 to 2. And there are plenty of other Bushs in the wings, we can rely on after Jeb as well.
